Institute for the Healing of Memories

There is nothing to indicate that the large old Victorian house, surrounded by the sunburnt scraps of what was once a lawn, is a place where extraordinary things happen. But it is. It’s a safe place where individuals can tell their stories in an atmosphere of respectful listening; a place of healing.

Mongezi Mngese, The programme manager of the Institute for Healing of Memories (IHOM) is quietly spoken and very serious. Describing his initially scepticism about the work of IHOM he speaks of how, as an activist and in later years a community liaison officer for the Truth and Reconciliation Commission he has been party to the secrets and confidences of many. Remarking that, in the beginning, the thought of sharing his own story was almost taboo he explains that participating in ‘truth telling’ processes seemed to pose a threat not only to himself, but his friends and comrades too.  He carries the burden of confidentiality seriously, but he’s also profoundly conscious of the way in which sharing memories can effect healing.

His life journey, from his childhood in a close family with a strong faith, as the son of a priest living in communities around the country, his experiences of the pain and frustration of forced removals and the discipline that comes of being a committed activist have made him the man he is today. When he joined IHOM he says, he felt strong enough as a man and an activist to take on the challenges of working with South Africans who did not testify to the TRC and needed to speak out and acknowledge their painful experiences and find healing.

Listening to his carefully considered responses to my questions, I’m struck by the way in which he shifts between relating the narrative, telling me about his 12 years at IHOM, and reflecting on the issues he raises. It’s a difficult balance to maintain, but it makes me think that he’s probably an excellent facilitator, able to draw out the real issues behind the difficult memories.
Mongezi tells me that IHOM was founded by Father Michael Lapsley and others in 1998. It grew out of the work of the Chaplaincy Project of the Trauma Centre for Victims of Violence and Torture and the Religious Response to the TRC and the realisation that there was a need to create a safe space where people could come together to tell their stories in an atmosphere of deep listening and mutual respect, under the guidance of trained facilitators. IHOM’s vision is to contribute to the healing journey of individuals, communities and nations.  As its mission statement says, “ We are a trust committed to: facilitating the healing process of individuals and communities in South Africa and internationally; remembering the apartheid years and healing the wounds; redeeming the past by celebrating that which is life giving and laying to rest that which is destructive and; working in partnership with others who share our visions.  The website lists a number of goals: reconciliation; emotional and spiritual healing; peace building; restoring relationships; social healing and; forgiveness.

IHOM has over the years refined their method of assisting people on their journey towards healing and wholeness through activities such as workshops, seminars, talks and sermons and developing models for dealing with emotions such as anger, hatred and guilt and processes such as reconciliation and forgiveness.  Mongezi says that those while those who participate in workshops do not always carry visible scars, they have suffered deep trauma. For them, reconciliation and healing are important parts of the healing process. 

Focussing on the effect of the nation’s past on individuals, IHOM workshops target specific groups: prisoners, youth, women, ex-combatants, youth, refugees, or communities affected by xenophobia or HIV/AIDS.

Workshops are aimed at creating safe, supportive spaces in which participants from different ethnic groups, races and religions to reach a better understanding of themselves and each other.
A workshop typically takes place over three days. Day 1 is spent on trust building activities, preparing participants for the journey ahead. Day 2 is spent sharing stories and confronting the sources of alienation, misunderstanding and personal suffering. Day 3 is spent on community building activities, and celebration. The power of the workshops lies in their experiential nature. There are no observers; everyone participates fully, including the facilitators.  The emphasis is on people’s emotional and personal, rather than intellectual and rational, responses.  Drama and art are used to aid self-awareness and encourage openness. Through sharing their unique yet interconnected stories, participants are enabled to move towards individual emotional healing and mutual understanding and grace. These processes prepare the ground for a wider and continuing practice of self-knowledge, forgiveness and reconciliation as participants return to their homes and communities. Follow up is important and all participants are invited to a subsequent meeting.

IHOM’s methodology has been used effectively, not only in South Africa but also in places as far afield as has been used in countries as far afield as the USA, East Timor, Rwanda and Northern Ireland.

Mongezi describes IHOM’s work with ex-combatants as challenging, explaining the difficulties in bringing people, such as those who belonged to MK, APLA and SANDF, who fought together or against each other into a space where they can learn to trust each other, make connections and share common experiences. It’s also difficult he explains, to persuade people who are used to suppressing issues and keeping things to themselves to open up.

The work that Mongezi and his colleagues is doing may be challenging, but it is infinitely worthwhile. Much has been written about the ‘unfinished business’ of the TRC but speaking to Mongezi its clear that the real legacy of the TRC lies in the establishment, and ongoing activity, of organisations like IHOM, dedicated to attending to the individual stories of people who suffered under apartheid – and beyond – to facilitating healing and reconciliation. 

For more information see the Institute for Healing of Memories website.

Leave a comment